How did i get so lucky?

Today is one of those days that I feel blessed beyond belief.  I spent the day in the sun with Olivia, Jenn and Brenna at Portage Lake.  Olivia and Brenna were angels at the lake.  On the way home, I got a little lost and ended up spending an extra hour in the car, but it was okay because Olivia napped the whole time.  When we got home we decided we would unpack the car and head out back for some pool time.  I was seeing how much fun Olivia was having, so I told Jenn she should come on over with brenna.  We ended up having a BBQ and watching Olivia and Brenna swim, run around the yard, blow bubbles and spend an hour or so just playing at the sand table.  Those two girls are getting to be really great friends....they were so well behaved together today, it was great!  At one point the four adults were sitting around the kiddie pool with our feet in the water and none of us had a child attached to us......we couldn't believe it...then derek held abbie while matt and I ate dinner...it really was a great night!

Somehow it gets even better.  After baths, it was time for our night time routine..Olivia and Matt lay together on the floor and I give abbie her bed time bottle.  Olivia lays on the ground and says, "daddy, you want to lay with me?"  Like he could actually say no to that...then it's, "daddy, you got your blankie?  daddy, you got your pillow?  it's night time...love you daddy"  I swear it is the cutest thing you could ever imagine.  I was in the girls' room putting abbie to sleep....when I put abbie in her crib, she opened her eyes just enough to smile at me before I left the room.  Then i came to the living room where matt was already passed out and Liv said, "mommy, will you lay with me?"  She lasted one more minute and now the two of them are sound asleep next to each other and I'm going to finish the last fifteen minute of the Bachlorette I missed from last night. 

Who wouldn't sleep tight after a day/night like that??

It's the little things...

I am beyond excited for tomorrow...my gram is going to watch abbie for the day and I get to go to the lake with Olivia to play with Jenn and Brenna.  I love having two girls and wouldn't trade it for the world, but I love time alone with each of them as well.  I can't wait to play in the water with Olivia and not worry about bottles, or keeping abbie in the shade.  I love having Abbie with us, but tomorrow it is a day for me and my oldest angel.....we will both be ready to go pick abbie up after a day in the sun, but for now we are going to go to bed like it is xmas eve thinking about all of the fun we are going to have tomorrow just the two of us!!!!

Letting Go....

My mind is such a crazy thing.  I know I should be excited about Olivia's second birthday party, but for some reason my excitement is clouded by my anxiety about having a messy house after.  I know people are going to read this and tell me to just get over it, but it is not as easy as that.  When you have suffered with this for so long, it is so hard to just let go of just because you want to and know that is what is best for you and your family.  I know that my drawers are a little messy and my front closet isn't as clean as it should be, and why am I worrying about these things???  Instead of focusing on the fun we are going to have this afternoon, I am thinking about when I am going to get a chance to clean the house after everyone leaves.  (I am typing this because I am hoping that getting it out in words is going to help me deal today)  Trust me, if I could, I would snap out of this craziness.  I have come a long way, but I still have a long way to go.  I don't want to waste my summer worrying about keeping the house clean...I know I miss out on so much when I do that.  I want to sit outside by the fire at night and play with Olivia at her sand and water table and have lots of people over for bbqs often....even going to cross lake for the week next week and then my dad's for the week after that makes me a mess because I know I have to pack and sometimes that makes my house a little disorganized. 

Well there, I feel like that helped a bit.  I am going to go cut up the cheese now for the party and I am going to do my best tonight to not worry about my closets, or drawers, or the floor and just focus on my beautiful little girl who will too soon grow up and then I will want the floors messy again.  Thanks for listening, I feel better already :)

So Thankful :)

My girls left this morning with their dad to spend the day with their grandma vicki.  as I rushed around to pack their diaper bag and bottles and everything, i was finding myself so thankful that i don't have to do this everyday of the year like some people do.  then as olivia waved to me as the car was pulling out of the driveway, i remembered the feeling i had all of those days this past school year when I had to watch her leave each morning.  I do love going to work, but i LOVE MY SUMMERS with my girls too.  This morning reminded me to be thankful for my job, my girls, and the many people who love to spend time with them while I go get groceries, pick up around the house, get my pedicure, or just take a shower without two little girls in the bathroom with me.  tomorrow i will be ready to have them back in the bathroom with me....i only share for a day at a time!!!  this morning also reminded me to not take a single day of my summer vacation for granted...pretty soon I will be back to being a "working" mom again.

Have a great day :)

A Happy Day

Well, Olivia's official birthday-day celebration is done.  What a great day we had.  We started off with some coloring this morning, the girls took a trip to Meme's, we met Daddy at McDonald's for a special birthday lunch, came home for a nap then the company started to come with presents!!!!!  P and Nama came and brought her a picnic table with a nice umbrella for shade along with a great gift of coloring supplies from aunt jackie!!!...next Jakey and Meme came with a sweet pool and then Nama Charlotte and Grampa Dave came with a sand a water table.  Olivia played with that from six until we pulled her inside for a tub at 8!!!!  We have it out on the deck under the overhang so that even if it is raining she can go outside and play with it. She was quite a mess and she kept saying she had to wash her hands!  It was such a nice night to be outside....the sun was shining and there were NO BUGS...yes you heard right, we were in northern maine in june and there were no bugs!!!!!  Now the birthday girl is having some grapes and is ready for "lights out" as her dad says. 

I am loving this summer and look forward to many more nights outside after dinner watching my little princess play with her sand and water table.

Thanks to everyone who made her birthday so special so far, and I can only imagine what Saturday will bring!!

Happy Birthday Olivia Marie

Happy Birthday to my sweet baby girl Olivia.  She woke up this morning just as happy as could be.  I said happy birthday to her and she said, "Oh, thank you momma."  I wish I could give her a gift every hour today to let her know just how much I love her, but that's not possible.  I hope/think I show her everyday just how much she means to me.  I told matt that we owe her a fancy car on her sixteenth birthday for how good she has been to us these past two years! 

Tonight we are having just a small family gathering and then it's her big birthday bash on saturday.  Later this afternoon we are going to make cup-cakes together for tonight.  She is very excited....she said first you dump it in the bowl then you stir it then you put it in my mouth!!! She is a girl after my own heart eating the cake mix before it is cooked!!! 

I will post a picture later of the birthday girl with her cupcakes tonight!

Trying this again

Well just a couple of weeks ago I tried to start a blog...I went to post a blog and it was gone...so I will try again.  I used to be a good writer, but I am realizing that lately my mind is racing too fast to even make sense when I write.  You will notice I do this a lot......................(yes, those dots)  I never know how to end a sentence, so I just do that.  Anyway, I can't believe tomorrow is my little girl's second birthday.  I feel like I should treat her like a princess all day, but I think she would be confused, because she really doesn't understand that that is what is supposed to happen.  We are having her party on Saturday, so tomorrow is going to be a low key second birthday.  I am going to post this to see if it works!